Halloween marks a month and 10 days until I return to the USA! However, I have mixed emotions about my return home. I am excited to be surrounded by my friends and family, but uneasy that such an epic point in my life is ending. I am excited to get an apartment with my best friend, but upset that I have to leave all the amazing friends I’ve made abroad. I am excited to get back to work and making money, but nervous I won’t have enough time to put genuine effort into my blog. With all these concerns being said, I think it is important to take a step back and remember to have faith.
In Chapter 25 of my all time favorite book, You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero, Jen talks about remembering to surrender.
“This doesn’t mean that we give up or discontinue taking action. This means we let go energetically, release our kung fu grip and create some space for what we want to come to us. It’s about allowing instead of forcing. It’s about releasing and trusting that if it’s in alignment with our life’s purpose, it will come back to us (or that something or someone even more perfect will come in its place). It’s about surrendering and letting The Universe do its thing while holding faith that our highest desire will come into our lives.”
In other words, instead of micromanaging to create a seemingly perfect and frankly unrealistic expectation of my life, I need to remember to not try and take charge of the situation but instead to have faith and gratitude to let the Universe (or God, or Goddess, or the Force, or gut, or intuition, or any damn Higher Power you believe exists) deliver. Worrying and being controlling over the outcomes of my future will create resistance, so instead, by joyfully taking on life as new things come into the picture, the Universe will conspire to attract what I need.
I have never been one to speak on or preach anything religious, but I think Jen organically and genuinely speaks a different perspective on the matter that I had never heard (in Chapter 2 of You Are A Badass) and I 100% recommend you check it out with an open mind.
Anyways, with my month and ten days in mind, it makes me reflect on the amazing three months I’ve had on exchange thus far. I am super proud of myself for making it this far my way. During the first semester of my freshman year at SDSU (you can read bit more about it here), I struggled with many unrealistic expectations for myself. As a notoriously emotional person, I expected myself to be able to easily embrace the stereotypical college experience; I had a picture of what I wanted my life to be like so solid in my mind that I couldn’t stop to embrace anything at all. So when I came to Australia, I vowed to just let things happen. It was when I didn’t rush to make non-genuine friendships that natural friendships took form; it was when I didn’t push myself beyond my realistic capabilities in school that I began getting good grades; it was when I needed a cheaper means of getting to campus than the bus everyday that my housemate started offering me rides to Uni (thanks Connor, hehe). I genuinely believe that the Universe brought things my way when I stopped trying to force things. I believe that everything I desire already exists; my faith in The Universe is stronger than my fear of not getting what I want.
I am excited about the future. I am excited for my mom to come to Australia, to show her the life I’ve built for myself here and to make her proud of how I’ve embraced it all; I am excited to be in my Aunt Jill’s powerful presence and to feed off her enthusiasm for life; I am excited to be in my father’s embrace, to know I’ve made him proud and to laugh at his notoriously clever dad-jokes; I am excited to see my brothers play their sports and to be able to attend their games again; I am excited to hear my best friend Caitlyn’s laugh in person and to apartment hunt for next semester; I am excited to spend the holidays with my family– with Aunt Lois, Aunt Jean, Uncle Anthony and my cousin’s Nicole and Nora; I am excited to decorate the Christmas tree, to sit at the dinner table with everyone I love in attendance and to be caught up on the amazing things in everyone’s lives; I am excited to have one of Michelle’s mother’s famous home cooked meals (tell Christine to make me some stuffed peppers, thanks Shell), to hear about all the headway she’s made in her future as a lawyer, and to eventually visit her at Michigan State; I am excited to get back in the presence of my brothers (who have different mother’s), Zack and Yanko, to laugh at their stupidity and to laugh together at everyone else’s; I am excited to hug Randal, to feel his beard on my face, to feel that “at-home” feeling I always get when I am in his presence; I’m excited to have “The V Team” back together, to laugh with Big Mark and to feed off each others energy (shout out Titty, Adam, and Dannyboy); and I’m excited to see my Max, to hold him so tight it makes up for all the monumental things I’ve missed while I’ve been gone, and to love him like I’ve never loved anyone else.
The future is bright. Thanks for reading.